••▫꒷ₒ︶❦∙·▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫꧁ ❦❧•~ ஷி ~•❧❦꧂▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫·∙❦︶ₒ꒷▫••

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Kuchisake - onna: A popular Japanese urban legend, Kuchisake - onna, or "Slit-Mouthed Woman," is a ghostly figure with a disfigured mouth. She is said to wear a surgical mask and approach people, asking them if she is beautiful. If the person answers "no," she kills them with a pair of scissors. If they answer "yes," she removes the mask to reveal her mutilated mouth and asks the question again.

~ ☆    ྀ  ﻌ    ྀ ☆~ 

Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?”

and it activated the front camera.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said,

"This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about.

I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Why did the man miss the funeral?

He wasn’t a mourning person.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,”

one of my best friends would still be alive.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree,

I don't find it cute or romantic.

I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing.

Except at a funeral.

The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick

but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman?

One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

My grandma has the heart of a lion

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. 

"That's so sweet," she replies.

"I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed

“does anyone know CPR?”

I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet”

and we all laughed and laughed.

Well, except one person.

I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes.

Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t

go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

My daughter asked me how stars die.

"Usually an overdose," I told her.

remember… your digestive system starts and ends with cheeks

what's the difference between an onion and a gigolo? I don't cry when I'm cutting up a hooker.

எப்புடி டக்கு டக்குனு இவ்ளோ ஜோக் சொல்ற?

நீ எடுத்த எடத்துலேந்து தான் நானும் எடுத்தேன். 

நீ அடுத்து எந்த ஜோக் அனுப்புவன்னு கூட தெரியும் 🤣🤣

அப்புடியா சேதி? இந்தா வருது பாரு...

அய்யய்யோ நைட்ல பேய் ஜோக்கா? I surrender. 

வா வழிக்கு. 

டேய்... Listen to this.