••▫꒷ₒ︶❦∙·▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫꧁ ❦❧•~ ஷி ~•❧❦꧂▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫·∙❦︶ₒ꒷▫••
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Kuchisake - onna: A popular Japanese urban legend, Kuchisake - onna, or "Slit-Mouthed Woman," is a ghostly figure with a disfigured mouth. She is said to wear a surgical mask and approach people, asking them if she is beautiful. If the person answers "no," she kills them with a pair of scissors. If they answer "yes," she removes the mask to reveal her mutilated mouth and asks the question again.
Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?”
and it activated the front camera.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said,
"This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about.
I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,”
one of my best friends would still be alive.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree,
I don't find it cute or romantic.
I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick
but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman?
One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
My grandma has the heart of a lion
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies.
"I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed
“does anyone know CPR?”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet”
and we all laughed and laughed.
Well, except one person.
I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes.
Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t
go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
My daughter asked me how stars die.
"Usually an overdose," I told her.
remember… your digestive system starts and ends with cheeks
what's the difference between an onion and a gigolo? I don't cry when I'm cutting up a hooker.
எப்புடி டக்கு டக்குனு இவ்ளோ ஜோக் சொல்ற?
நீ எடுத்த எடத்துலேந்து தான் நானும் எடுத்தேன்.
நீ அடுத்து எந்த ஜோக் அனுப்புவன்னு கூட தெரியும் 🤣🤣
அப்புடியா சேதி? இந்தா வருது பாரு...
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